maduraikku pogathadee....

This has to be one of the most strangest and murphiest days in my life so far.....
started pretty ok, with some dent in the wallet, buying up some ps3 games and blowing up almost all cash in my wallet shopping at hypercity. I thought I'll go home and replenish my wallet with a few notes, so didn't worry much about it then.
After that, the day was pretty normal, going to office. Well, the things that transpired in office was not at all the way I envisioned, so the day was somewhat of a disappointment. After several meetings through the day, I was pretty much fed up to call it a day an hour early just to be back at my place for dinner and some much needed rest. Also, it was raining quite a bit, so was keen to get home. Well, nothing prepared me for what happened after that.
Got dropped at my place, with empty wallet and fone on low battery. Didn't realize one important fact in my eagerness to get home, that my roomie might not yet be home. 3 of us are staying together in a flat, and usually the 2 of us who come home at the same time share a key, since there are only 2 house keys. I usually confirm if one of the roommates is at home, or I keep a spare key with me and ask them to coordinate, if I end up coming at unearthly hours after office. However, today I didn't do any of that, and worst part was that I didn't realize that until I walked right to the flat and found the house locked and dark.
Ok, I thought, things couldn't get much worse - no money, locked out of my own place. Then Murphy smiled. When I dialled my roommate to explain the situation, the fone died very soon during the call. Didn't know if he heard enough or not, and there was no way to confirm it. I'm the sort of person who can't even remember his own family's fone numbers so forget about roommate's number.
So, with a dead fone on hand, no money and really hungry, I didn't know what to do or where to go. I'm generally not a very sociable person, so don't know my neighbours and don't have any friends nearby, so asking anyone for help was ruled out. Plus, it was raining outside, so couldn't risk venturing anywhere outside without any means of transportation.
This was at around 10 pm. Earliest that I could hope for one of my roomies to come home was atleast 1 hour. So, pulled up a chair near the watchman, dug in my laptop bag, and fished out a book and my ipod. Lucky, as I didn't originally plan to bring my laptop bag home.
I selected a random song, "maduraikku pogathadee...." from my hand-me-down ipod (from my sis), and looped it. After reading through around 50 pages of Artemis fowl book, and around 40 minutes later, I was a little worried, and more than a little tired. I started thinking that maybe roomies are staying over at friends place, and not planning to come home, or planning to come home later. The rain finally stopped, so after around 7 loops of the song in my ears, walked up to the nearest almost closing shop, and got enough change from my wallet and my laptop bag for a couple of cigs. Then, with nothing else to do, started walking around the entire lopsided block. My house is in a slightly sloped area, so the block is like a lopsided quadrilateral, there is a small stretch of steep decline, and 3 sides of gradual slopes. Halfway around this block I was tired, yet there wasn't much else that I could do, except maybe walk around 3 kms to the nearest help, my boss' place. I seriously considered this but didn't want to disturb him and his family unless it was absolutely necessary.
After about 20 minutes after setting off from the shop, finally circled back to my place, it was around 11.30, I lost track of time after about dozen loops of the 5.02 minute song, and noticed light!!!! I was relieved when I finally got inside, it seems my roomie didn't get what I said, the call got cut off, but he tried calling back me and heard the switched off message. Then, he tried calling other roomie, and both of them guessed that I forgot about the key, yet again.
Thankfully, they feel guilty enough about the whole thing to be pissed off with me.
Maybe I will forget this episode, but in my life, I will never ever forget the tune and the song that I listened to over and over and over and over again, a song that gave me some solace in this crazily embarrassingly strangest and murphiest days in my life and in my ears... maduraikku pogathadee....

Every day is a new page

Three remotes by my side, after spending an uneventful part of the hour staring at a message that essentially means that the satellite dish company is going to take my money and not show any programmes because of the monsoon cloud cover over the city, I'm quite a bit too frustrated to go to sleep. I was hoping that watching TV would put me to sleep, no such luck...that left me wide awake.
Its the inactivity that kills me. Physically and mentally feel a certain level of weariness, but its the lack of a sense of 'accomplishment', the lack of that feeling of adrenaline washing over, that's keeping my mind awake and sleep harder to come. Everyday is so blank that can't quite remember how different today was from yesterday. last week or even last month.. everyday's a new page left bank. Ultimately, have to force my mind to shutdown. Until the next page, adios!

Happy sad

My earliest memory of hearing this expression was in a movie, can't quite remember which. Not quite recently, heard one of my little cousins use this expression to describe what he was feeling, and the image instantly stuck with me, a 5 yr old kid not quite knowing whether he should be happy or sad or both. That childlike feeling is what I say sometimes, to explain the way I feel - happysad.